Every no was a chance to say yes to what mattered most. Especially when it comes to managing communication with others. You may feel like you are letting someone down if you say no, but it is okay to put your own needs first. Tipping jars: Optional, but it's nice to drop in extra change or a dollar or so, depending on the quality of the service provided, or if you're a regular customer. Have assertive body language. If you dont believe in yourself, it will be harder to stand your ground when someone tries to convince you to do something else. Even if you can bite the inside of your cheek for 30 seconds, itll give you a moment to think and offer a boilerplate response you have prepared for these situations, Wurm says. After a long day of ministry, Jesus finally falls asleep and then gets up early in the morning to slip away and get time with the Father. If requesting an extra robe, luggage rack, ice, etc., add an additional $2 to $3. We may use it to: To learn more about how we handle and protect your data, visit our privacy center. Beyond the obvious just say no strategy, its important to set yourself up for success with the projects you already have and how, when you do say yes to a project, you know you can handle it. Line up your sponsors, remain firm, be fact-based and explain why youll pass. Dr. Kevin G. Harney (B.A., Azusa Pacific University; M.Div., Fuller Theological Seminary; Doctorate of Ministry, Western Theological Seminary) is the lead pastor of Shoreline Church in Monterey, CA. 5. The first step is to become aware of the two different types of social pressure to drink alcoholdirect and indirect. Try using sentences that start with 'I feel' or 'I think' to express your thoughts and explain why you don't want to do something. Were you taught that no is a dirty word? To an extent, this is good and healthy. Understand High Achievement vs. Perfectionism, Balance Being a Hard Worker and Type A Behavior, Think Like an Optimistic, Not a Pessimist, Accept Your Weaknesses, and Everyone Else's, How To Practice Loving Kindness Meditation, Perfectionism: 10 Signs of Perfectionist Traits, Imposter Syndrome: Why You May Feel Like a Fraud. Learn more about us here. And saying yes to everything shows your tenacity and resilience, and adds experience to your resume. A respectful way of uttering no is I really appreciate your offer, but its not going to work for me. Your comfort level will increase over time. Expectations derive from being judgmentalwhen someone can't accept how you behave, they expect you to change. I focus on that. Why Is Hawaii So Expensive: Is There Any Secret Reason? Half of Americans do not support colleges and universities taking race and ethnicity into account in admissions decisions, according to a recent Pew Research Center report, while . Maybe youre anxious to turn down your boss. "They made me do things I didn't want to do. One simple word. half the subjects agreed to deface a library book, work longer hours and face a bigger workload, increasingly big problem for modern-day employees. The laws vary by state and situation, but you dont have to be a legal expert to understand how consent plays out in real life. Saying NO to Peer Pressure - HealthHub A more effective way to help yourself through stressful times is to become more aware of how you feel and why by journaling, talking things out with a close friend, or talking to a therapist if necessary, and then working toward engaging in activities that will give you a healthy emotional lift and moving on. What often falls off is family, health, or time with Jesus. Feeling pressured to take drugs? Would you like for someone else to take this task on, or should I adjust priorities? - Luke Feldmeier, Career and Leadership Accelerator. Why Are Mephisto Shoes So Expensive: The Reasons behind. For more about the ministry of Kevin G. Harney please go to www.kevingharney.com. For example, instead of saying: "That's a stupid idea," try: "I don't really like that idea." When You Feel Pressured and Overwhelmed by Possibilities. You actually look at your life and remove something, tell it no, get rid of it. Direct social pressure is when someone offers you a drink or an opportunity to drink. The Solution: Say no! For example, Gottsman was recently buying a souvenir T-shirt at a restaurant, and was prompted to leave a tip. Request a demo to learn more. If the body is rebelling, thats an indication that youve said yes too much, she says. June 15, 2023 5:30 am ET. Say no, and explain why you feel this way. Prioritizing your needs is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. Ultimately, this an expression of thanks, of generosity, of appreciation," says Senning. "If you're not going to tip, it means there was an issue that was big enough that you really want to be talking to a manager or an owner," Senning says. When The Task Would Compromise The Company Brand Or Image, Professionals can feel confident saying no in any situation in which yes would compromise the employers brand or public image. Your job may require you to oblige when superiors delegate tasks to you. It can be challenging to say no, especially if you feel you might upset the other person. Clin Pract Epidemiol Ment Health. You don't feel guilty or pressured into following what other people tell you to do . It's widely discussed in China: Employers don't want you after 35. Fooddelivery: 10% to 15% of the bill, or $2 to $5 for pizza delivery, depending on the size of the order and the difficulty of delivery, such as inclement weather. Grocery store: You don't have to tip, and Gottsman notes many stores offering curbside pickup don't allow tips. They let him know that all the people back in the town are looking for him and want him to come back. "So think of the payment app or tip screen as the same thing as dropping change in the tip jar.". Say 'no' like you mean it. And in fact, there are several services which never get a tip, period: The general rule here is that you don't tip professional or health services, like teachers, lawyers, doctors or nurses. Here's How Americans Feel About Affirmative Action, According to the This kind of behavior shows our inherent desire to avoid conflict and keep the peace. Keep in mind that saying no to yourself is just as important as saying no to others. 10 Ways to Graciously Say No When You Feel Pressured to Say Yes When we carry the weight of our own expectations and desires, or, when we succumb to the pressures of others and say yes to all they expect from us, we have no margin to seek first the kingdom God is establishing (Matthew 6:33). He told his disciples that it was time to move to the next town so he could preach and teach there. Remember to tell your partner how much you appreciate him. Its easier to politely decline the next day. Eat whatever you want doesnt sound like much of a diet, but it can change your life. In most cases, they barely notice. A favorite of grandmothers everywhere, this is the classic "I love you, but no.". If we pray, seek wisdom, and weight each request against Gods Word, well have wisdom for every yes and every no. Instead of thinking of situations as all or nothing, meet in the middle. 5. Deutsch | 2023 St. John Celebration - Village Night 5.1 - Facebook Stand tall and keep your arms at your sides or use gestures to emphasize your words. We also sell both admissions and sponsorship packages for our investment conferences and advertising on our websites and newsletters. Answer (1 of 9): Why do I want to say no? Discover 10 ways you can start setting time aside for your self-care. I've seen this over and over in people who've become "Yes Machines.". Another danger is that people who cant seem to say no are magnets for unhealthy people who are masters at manipulating and using others. Kevin G. Harney: We must to learn to say no, but we need to remember that we dont say no for the sake of saying no. 5. Jesus set boundaries and let the mission of the Father drive his life forward, not the whims and desires of the crowds. Your best life: Perfectionism--The bane of happiness. Bio: Rev. Why Do Guys Love Seeing Girls in Their Hoodies? It shows strength, not weakness. Because of these feelings, you avoid saying no to others. Look, I get it. Treat Yourself Kindly. Its how we deal with the pressure that matters. You may not be able to change your personality, but you can soften the edges and shift your focus toward being more relaxed, and that can make all the difference.. Why is it hard to say no? If you feel pressured by someone, it is okay to ask for more time or say that you need to talk to someone else before making a decision. Certainly, they wanted to see more miracles, hear more teaching, and have Jesus to themselves. How to Help Your Teenager Deal With Peer Pressure: 6 Tips How to say no to others (and why you shouldn't feel guilty) - BetterUp This guide provides key facts and practical tips on women's health. If youre fielding requests from left to right, tell your manager its overwhelming, and put the onus on them to delegate tasks to other people on your team. When Youre Ill Or Need To Care For Family, It is important for lower-level employees to set clear and respectful boundaries when it comes to their physical, mental and financial health. 1. "Type A" people tend to experience health issues to a greater degree than the averageenthusiastic and balanced hard workers, and can engage in behaviors that are less than healthy as well. From an early age, children are taught to be polite and forthcoming. Don't beat around the bush or offer weak excuses or hem and haw. How to Say No and Not Feel Guilty: An Interview with Kevin G. Harney In a work situation, it can be particularly difficult to say no. Use a firm voice and look them in the eye when speaking. When your partner tells you he feels pressured, it can be challenging to know what to say. You may have known by the title of this article that a great way to relieve stress is to simply ease up on yourselfgive yourself a break. "It could come across as a bribe," Gottsman says. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Although some people consider "no" to be a complete sentence, it can be seen as rude. If requesting an extra robe, luggage rack, ice, etc., add an additional $2 to $3. If you give a reason for saying no, the other person can try to talk you out of it or find a way around your excuse. Some people feel pressured to work through an illness, but that can have financial or legal consequences for the company. Instead, mull over the ask by saying youll think about it or can have a response in 24 hours. Do I qualify? When it comes to stress, "do your best" is better than "be perfect," and in the long run, it's healthier as well. The world is having more good times, but bad times are staying the same, according to a new report released Tuesday. When you improve your self-esteem and have respect for yourself, you are less likely to succumb to peer pressure. Airport curbside concierge (checks you in and takes your bag at the airport curb): Each airline has its own suggestions, which will be displayed at the counter. 5 Ways to Exercise at the Office That Target Your Posture, Circulation, and Mental Health, 19 Keyboard Shortcuts That Will Make Your Life Easier. ", And that includes tipping touch screens, which are really just modern-day tip jars. Just be direct and to the point with your answer. COVID-19 has drastically increased the number of employees working from home. This ones specific to work relationships. Here are 10 ways to deal with it Remember that you're not alone. Better Information for Better Women's Health - WebMD The wording of the no response needs to be tactful, such as, Here are the current priorities on my plate. If you're feeling the pressure and are struggling to let go, consider reaching out for professional help. You constantly feel that you have to say yes to prove to yourself that you can actually do your job. Optimism and its impact on mental and physical well-being. No Is a Beautiful Word is published by HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Inc., the parent company of Bible Gateway. The answer: "No! 4 Things to Do When You Feel Pressured To Do Something Melissa Beebe, an oncology nurse, relies on her observation skills to make life-or-death decisions. Remember to tell your partner how much you appreciate him. For larger or more complicated moves, like a full-day move between big houses with tons of stairs, Gottsman suggests maybe $50 to $100 per person, although "$100 per mover is generous. I did this in college when I was dealing with a variety of temptations. UK English | Use I statements:When you use I statements, it takes the focus off of the other person and puts it on yourself. In these. Text. Valet parking: $3 to $10 once a car is returned (a tip is not part of the valet fee). Copyright 2023 Morningstar, Inc. All rights reserved. Id get calls from friends to play golf on a Saturday, to go to a movie, or to do any number of things. Kevin G. Harney: Every one of us has limited time, energy, and resources. If you're focusing on failing or worrying about making the wrong decision, you're putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. - April Sabral, April Sabral Leadership, As a lower-level employee, saying no to requests from leadership can be challenging and uncomfortable. Unfortunately, I already have plans. The best thing we can do when people make requests of us, or when we receive invitations, is to say, Let me take some time to pray about that. Then, we really pray. Drive-through: You don't have to tip, Gottsman says, but you can leave a little something if you want to. Not long after Jesus gets away, the disciples track him down. How to Say No - 8 Tips to Politely Refuse Someone - Oprah Daily You can get back to him after 10 minutes or even an hour. Actually, realistic positive thinking (focusing on the positive without completely ignoring and failing to address issues that require a response) can help you to be more effective in your life, and less stressed along the way. One appropriate situation for a professional to say no in the workplace is when they feel ill or need to care for a sick loved one. Filed under Books, Discipleship, Interviews. Talk to Someone. Many companies also have anonymous hotlines for employees to call for support and guidance. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Maybe they're asking me to do something I think is wrong, such as "No, I won't help you cheat on the test. On days like this, you might feel tired, irritable, or just unable to stir your usual interest in the things you typically enjoy. People around the world are having more positive experiences, new - CNN And saying yes to everything shows your tenacity and resilience, and adds experience to your resume. When You Feel Pressured and Overwhelmed by Possibilities - Tiny Buddha How can you draw the line between being excitedly busy and overwhelmed? Fear of "bad" outcomes. Discuss what each of you wants and needs from the relationship and devise a plan that works for you. Brainstorming ways to stay safe may help reduce the risk of future harm. You can start by paying attention to how you feel at the end of the day, at the end of a weekend (when you're about to start a new week with new challenges), and taking a careful look at your life to see if you have enough time for maintaining self-care activities on a regular basis, including: Taking care of yourself is essential for stress management, and no other goals should be put above it, or you won't be able to reach those goals as effectivelyexhausted people lose momentum eventually. Thank you." "It's not about paying the valet not to mess with your car," Senning says. Forbes Coaches Council members share times when it is appropriate for a professional to say 'no' at work. - Joshua Miller, Joshua Miller, 7. Hotel housekeeper: $2 to $5 each day -- and do not wait until the end of your stay to tip, since different . Kevin G. Harney: I think Christians feel pressured to say yes because we think it honors Jesus. But one thing hasn't changed: In many cases, tipping is still optional. Using humour to deflect pressure or attention. An email is a solid workaround. Ways to say no It can be hard to say 'no' to your friends, especially when they're all joining in. It's easy to think you're the only one who's not tried drugs but, actually, most young people don't take drugs. When will this madness end? It paves the way for holistic wellness. Take a Break. Expertise from Forbes Councils members, operated under license. Many perfectionists, on some level, believe that they need toattain perfection or they have failed; this belief can not only lead to stress, it can actually lead tolesssuccess than the attitude of a regular high-achiever! While it is important to find a balance between acknowledging your emotions and engaging in rumination, remaining in denial is not healthy either. This will show the other person that you are serious about your decision, and they should respect it. However, this can cause issues around communication and self-assertion. Employees should not feel pressured to compromise their ethics. Kevin G. Harney: I use the Bible Gateway App almost daily. Expressing discomfort with a specific request and sharing the reasons might be best for all in the end. While pleasing others is a natural incentive for performing tasks, it shouldn't be the only reason you work hard. Occasional periods of feeling this way are perfectly normal. We help churches, movements, and denominations grow their commitment to the Great Commission of Jesus (Matthew 28:16-20). Carry-out order: Tipping is optional in takeout, or 10% to 20%, depending on the complexity of the order, or for curbside service. Instead, pause and ask if you can have some time to think about it. I Am Afraid to Say No | Psychology Today When your schedule and life are full, every yes is a no. Not even Jesus said yes all the time. Because youll be finishing them to get them done and not to do them well, your quality of works suffers and the odds of you impressing the higher ups will decline. Sexual violence can happen to anyone, and its not the only crime that can occur on a college campus. Go for a Walk. It is also hard to be assertive when you're feeling pressured. You might even be afraid that if you relax a bit, things will fall apart. If your partner feels like he has to put up with things he doesnt want to do in the relationship (e., sex, chores, etc. I said no over and over and over for ten years. - Andrew Tallents, The Tallents Partnership Limited, 10. Be Firm When Saying No to Peer Pressure and Drugs Finding a way to say "no" can be tricky, especially if the other person is being very persuasive. Why do people say yes to requests made of them when they really want to say no? Why is it dangerous to say yes when you should say no? Knowing your own mind makes it easier to stay true to yourself. In fact, it's against the law to give postal employees cash tips or equivalents such as gift cards. Read our editorial policy to learn more about our process. Youre not hurting peoples feelings, Wurm says. Many people are afraid of positive thinking, likening it to a mental trick where you ignore important problems or valuable cues in life, and eventually, make mistakes that bring even more stress. Your decision should not be based on guilt or obligation. 12 Advantages of Positive Thinking that Improve Your Life, what are the disadvantages of late marriage, 12 Benefits of playing football for health, 10 Advantages and disadvantages of eating beef. And yet you feel compelled to take it on. It will be a relief. Maybe you can't go to the party because its not worth the chance of being grounded. I don't have the bandwidth for that right now. When your partner tells you he feels pressured, it can be challenging to know what to say. Every woman deserves to thrive. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Talking to a therapist may help you put less pressure on yourself so you can get the most out of life. But for securing restaurant reservations, theater tickets or something similar, give $10 and up for hard-to-get seats or tickets. Learn what intuitive eating is, how it works, and its benefits. Step 2: Be brief and clear. How to feel confident saying no when you're feeling pressured We have a lot to learn from our Savior. Learn about mental health days, why they matter, and how to make the most of them. How to "Just Say No" to Peer Pressured Spending - Lifehacker You cannot, nor should you be expected to, take on a responsibility where you could be set up for failure. I'm very sorry, and I don't want you to flunk out, but I'm not going to do this." (When there's something I am willing to do which. Says Gottsman: "The workers are hot, working hard and making everything while you wait.". What are your thoughts about Bible Gateway and the Bible Gateway App and Bible Audio App? "If it's a retail product and they didn't deliver it to you, someone just handed it over, feel free to hit 'no tip,' " Gottsman says, adding, "The counter rep is getting paid an hourly wage.". Being a yes-person all the time is going to put too much on your plate. A confident 'no thanks' or 'not for me'. Trust me, I get it. You should take some time to think about your decision before responding. Much easier. I often found myself saying the same thing when faced with peer pressured spending: "I'll stop after this time." The problem was-I usually didn't. I'd just make another "one last time . You may also feel especially overloaded around the holidays, as obligations from both family and work pile up. Make eye contact with the person as you say "no" to show that you mean business. So, they take what seems like the easy path and just say yes. But the truth is people say no to requests all the time and suffer no ill consequences. Select all the topics you most frequently turn to the Bible to get help with: The Bible Gateway Blog features the latest news, announcements, and reflections from Bible Gateway. There are times when we really want something to go a particular way. If pleasing someone else comes at the cost of your own happiness and well-being, it isn't worth it. A sleepy patient with dilated pupils could have had a . While it is easy (even tempting) to relent to pressure or even see every yes as a career opportunity, the reality is that organizations and leaders tend to exploit their people, even if that is not the intention. Peer pressure and it's influence on decision making - spunout Indirect social pressure is when you feel tempted to drink just by being around others who are drinkingeven if no one offers you a drink. A respectful way of uttering "no" is "I really appreciate your offer, but it's not going to work for me.". Your boundaries are worth standing up for. Another one in three survey respondents say they get "annoyed" when encountering these tip screens at coffee shops, retailers and self-checkout kiosks. - Kimberly Janson, Janson Associates, LLC, When it comes to personal boundaries, an employee has the right to say no. If someone within the company feels threatened in any way, shape, or form, they should immediately reach out to their HR business partner or people operations department. Thats exactly what its like when a person has said yes to so many things that their life is jam-packed. No. Innovative research featured in peer-reviewed journals, press, and more. Get support and talk to someone you trust. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. ", Tipping is supposed to make both the giver and the recipient feel good. Whether its your physical health, mental health, or psychological health, saying no preserves your inner strength. Front Psychol. These five signs indicate you need to say no for your own good. Try these tips to help: Know what you're willing to let slide and what you're not okay with. How to Love Yourself When Your Confidence Is Low, How to Be More Confident: 9 Tips That Work, Friday Fix: 5 Self-Care Mistakes That Leave You Emotionally Exhausted, 5 Emotion-Focused Coping Techniques for Stress Relief, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, Your best life: Perfectionism--The bane of happiness, Work addiction is associated with increased stress and reduced quality of life: Validation of the Bergen Work Addiction Scale in Danish, Optimism and its impact on mental and physical well-being, The effect of loving-kindness meditation on positive emotions: A meta-analytic review. But to be the healthiest, happiest version of yourself, you need to lay down boundaries. be liable. Use your self-advocacy skills to step up and say no. Your boundaries are worth standing up for. We face enough stress in life without putting more on ourselves, but that's exactly what many of us do, in one way or another, sometimes without even realizing it. Develop and improve features of our offerings. We all feel it at times. ", The good news is that while we have ever more options and opportunities to tip now, "we also have the option to say 'no' when necessary," Gottsman says. They want to be loved and respected. This frees you to say yes to what matters most. 3. And it's not your fault. If youre struggling to cope with pressure, dont hesitate to reach out for help from a trusted friend or professional counselor. Whether youre at home or at work, knowing how to say no is a skill you can benefit from for the rest of your life. This was because saying no felt too difficult. Ive seen this over and over in people whove become Yes Machines. Ive had many people tell me, I just cant say no! They feel powerless and cornered. Also, I develop a daily reading guide for the congregation I serve every week of the year. One of the best positive thinking strategies you can adopt is optimistic thinking, which is a specific pattern of thinking that allows youto focus your attention on the accomplishments that maximize your confidence and allow you to do your best in the future. So why do we feel so pressured to say yes all the time? Theres nothing wrong with taking some time to make the right decision. Let your partner know what you need from him right now whether its simply verbal support or something more tangible and then follow through on your request. If you dont believe in yourself, it will be harder to stand your ground when someone tries to convince you to do something else. Help! A person might feel pressure to do something just because others are doing it (or say they are). Its how we deal with the pressure that matters. Too many professionals are diverted from their agreed-upon professional objectives because they cannot say no to assertive leaders who are not clear about what they are trying to do.