Allah is the best of planners. The Concepts of Hope and Fear in the Islamic Thought: Implications for Spiritual Health. Inshallah ..I will soon . acceptance from Allah. But Allah promises you forgiveness from Himself with bounty. (yes istikhara is a very important prayer, do it all the time!) I forgot to mention 1 thingu have to pray everyday..after each namaaz. my older sister is now 32 and has met a lovely brother who is 6yrs younger then her, wonderful revert brother and InshaAllah we are hoping things work out. In the meantime, ask Allah for patience, contentment and gratitude. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Al-Tirmdihi said: this is a ghareeb [strange] hadeeth, and concerning its isnaad it was said: Faaid ibn Abd al-Rahmaan is weak in hadeeth. But I dont want to compromise my beliefs in this process. Dealing With Depression the Islamic perspective, Tip Of The Week Be Careful What You Call People To, http://www.themodernreligion.com/family/losing-hope.html, Everything You Need To Know About Having a Wali in Marriage, 7 Things Your Muslim Husband Wont Tell You, Preventing the Girlfriend-Boyfriend Relationship. Source : http://www.themodernreligion.com/family/losing-hope.html. I myself am one of the lucky sisters. She couldnt bare to see my face but at the same time she also couldnt leave me alone because she realized how bad my situation was. yeh anyways, all the scum will eventually die out, and mahdi is near insha Allaah, when the scum is gone, islamic emirate will make sure no sister is left unmarried insha Allaah. I had a really good group of friends but I barely went out anywhere with them. but remember there are many who praying but no respnse from years.. things are not same for everyone.. keep on praying..insyaAllah Allah will grant u with happiness..it maybe not now..but one dayi know it is hurt to know that u and that person are not meant for each other but put your trust in Allah..well your story is just same with one of my bestfriend. Im not working rightnow and dont have any money. She said that she had seen all the emails he sent me and she felt I was the only one who could understand what she experienced. I dont know where Im going wrong. Afraid of marriage So I'm around the age of marriage and my mom asked me how I would feel about starting the search and I immediately shut it down, asking to wait longer. Now recite Surah ikhlas 31 times while imagining the face of the person you wish to marry. I created the jinn and humankind only that they might worship Me. [Quran, 51:56]. So you see, brother, dont give up faith, on the contrary, know that patience and faith will bring you the best of gifts Now smile, please, and dont feel sad or dissapoited. Please wake up before Fajr and perform the Prayer of Need as often as you can. Strength to bear patience. 788. That is the supreme triumph." [Qur'an, 9.71] And be patient. I pray this finds you well. I am losing hope and even get thoughts of marrying a non-Muslim man but I know this will be disaster for my relationship to Allah. The reward of getting married in Islam -> It is a sunnah and that should never be looked down upon. (also in community, mosqs, or elders, family, etcs.) You, as a helpless human and slave of God, simply don't have that ability to design perfection into your life. Ive given all my reliance to Him alone and tried to be a better muslimah each day and not to hold grudge. Retrieved January 27, 2021, from Yaqeen Institute for Islamic Research website: https://yaqeeninstitute.org/roohi-tahir/in-hardship-and-in-ease-how-to-rely-on-god, M.H. I read the other days a beautiful story which i will tell you now, to chear you up: 2 beggers came to one house and asked for food. (n.d.). The Quran Says: Say: My servants, you who have transgressed against yourselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Wandering hope brings help to many men, but others she tricks.. Hope is faith in Allah and the hereafter. it is very stressful sometimes. faisal am here for u insha Allah, where are u from? My mom saw me completely broken and she finally got it out of me to tell her what the truth was. Everyone is trying to find someone better so they dont followup after sending interests. Fans concerned for 'barely' recognizable Erika Jayne amid weight loss The Beloved of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) reminded us that: No tiredness, illness, difficulty, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts a Muslim, even to a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping away his errors through it. [Recorded by Bukhari and Muslim, from Abu Said and Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with them)] May Allah ease every difficulty that anyone of you may be experiencing and may He bless you with peace and contentment and accept all of your duas, Ameen. She has been going through a lot of issues finding someone as well, but she dated a few guys for long periods of time and nothing worked out. It took me weeks to become even slightly normal. It is in Allah's (SWT) control. She lived with us and she applied for a divorce. He got married and did everything he could to show everyone how happy he was. She saw me making dua in every salah and hurting so much. You are clearly able to see what is right and wrong and know what you need to correct. Inshallah u will see. Let them understand why Islam permit inter tribal marriage. Patience is needed as well as prayer. Answered by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari of the Hanafi fiqh list. They go out hungry in the early morning, and return full in the evening. [Tirmidhi] The scholars note that birds do not merely place their trust in Allah: they go out early, and take all means to fulfill their goal. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us. 6 Reasons Why You Must Never Lose Hope You feel numb even fearful at the thought. we met alot of odd ppl before we met our husbands.and when it happened it happened quick as Allah made it easy. He doesnt want to marry the girl his parents chose for him. One thing I can say is I have thanked Allah every single day of my life since my breakup for not letting this work out for me. During these times he became more and more pushy about having a physical relationship as well and me saying no was causing a lot more issues. So, I hope by telling you this, you dont feel so bad about yourself, But if God is where we place our trust and hope, whatever the future holds for us will not affect us much. But to do this is surely better than giving up altogether and completely turning away from Allah. In the meantym, get urself ready. He admitted all the times he had cheated on me, all the times he hit me because I suspected that he was cheating, he admitted to every single thing that was a cause for our fights. - acceptance from Allah. This made me hurt badlyand I felt almost like there is no hope now. And patience is endurance to bear pain.. Im also want to find a husband to marry. we are not made for each other. You guys have no idea how much it helped me, especially because these past few weeks have been very difficult. It does not store any personal data. May alaah help all the muslims who want to get married and give them rightous spouses just keep making duas alaah surely hears and will defenately answer your call. AssalaamuAlaikum . They told him that they realize his games of what he is telling me vs what he is telling them. I do apologize in advance and I thank everyone who takes the time to read this. Read5 Life Lessons We Can Learn From Prophet Yusuf'sStory, ____________________________________________________________, Al-Mundhiri on hope and good thoughts about Allah. I was very religiously inclined and had a good awareness of halal and haraam and I was also a very studious kid. As soon as I saw him I walked out. 6980). I know of many incredible women in their thirties, and sometimes older, who are unmarried, or trapped in deeply unhappy marriages. Allah has different plans for us. I believe this is something that most of us go through at some point in life to some extent or another, for any number of challenges that we are faced with throughout life. And wipe ur tears and remember to keep smiling..im sure u have a beautiful smile . Have faith that Allah hears your prayers, and that He will answer them in His time not in your time. I couldnt believe what was happening and I still have no words to describe the amount of pain I went through because of him. Im lost and I feel like I have wasted the best years of my life. The young Turks rejecting Islam - BBC News The same could be said of a life partner in marriage. especially the generation whose parents served the white man, i.e colonial imperialists. Retrieved January 27, 2021, from whyislam.org website: https://www.whyislam.org/islam/hopeandtrust/, In Hardship and in Ease: How to Rely on God | Yaqeen Institute for Islamic Research. Perhaps Allah is making you wait for this blessed reason. But after I was hurt..my heart find rest in the rememrence of Allah. A Muslim is never in despair, not even in most difficult moments. 9 Ways to Keep from Losing Hope In Your Marriage she likes someone and did istikharah. That is uncalled for. Inactual fact they get picked first and the ones left are rotten. I want to be happy at this point of my life and not let everyone's relationships trigger me. Our prayers of finding the ryt spouse mayb answered now or later. He tries for the best and look for wisdom. Trust Allah Have patience. One important figure is Prophet Zakariyya a.s. Its like Allah doesnt want me to get married. Its been 3 years of me praying and praying and crying asking for Allahs help in whatever He decides for me. How to Overcome Hopelessness | Psychology Today At times, we may feel life for us is a burden. It rejects Koran and it rejects the prophet. For example, the most delusional thing we could hope for is as if we would live this worldly life forever and that tomorrow is always guaranteed. Chapter Three: The Islamic Sexual Morality (2) Its Structure The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. We may not always get what we asked or prayed for, but believe in Him. General Discussion. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. If that is the case, Muslims should similarly place their hope ultimately in God alone. I'm losing faith and I need some sort of guidance : r/islam Alhumdulillah she is much better now but at that time having my father be the main income provider and my mom being so sick, it left the majority of the kids responsibility on me, and a lot of the house chores as well. I have tried matrimonial sites 6 of them to be precise and have just been hurt. The wife got angry with my family and things turned out bad. he has been introduced to the whole family, and is wonderful. Dont despair. Because you are already in your thirties, you and your sisters are understandably worried. Asalaam Alaykum. An extended or excess form of optimism that is not grounded in the basis of reality, such as fantasizing or wishful thinking is not part of what it means to be hopeful. We Muslims should go back to the foundation of the DEEN. Couldnt find any so far since 3 years. I knew that it wasnt the right time to tell my parents about this guy because I still had my career pending and my parents would not be okay with it until I completed my education. I was losing myself as a person. And in the heaven is your providence and that which you are promised; She knew me enough to know I had no reason to lie. I am divorced, I have a daughter and I have been seeking a spouce since 7 years, but wothout results. 25 Things to Consider Before Getting Married in Islam ' [Sunan Ibn Majah]. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Retrieved January 27, 2021, from abuaminaelias.com website: https://abuaminaelias.com/al-mundhiri-on-good-thoughts-allah/, Bahmani, F., Amini, M., Tabei, S. Z., & Abbasi, M. B. I cant believe the mess that Muslims are in at the moment. no hope tired of loneliness. One night at the hospital when my family had gone home he came in to see me alone. It's never was and it never will be. i still have friends 28-38 who are unmarried but i pray that Allah swt finds them a spouse. I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor)[al-Baqarah 2:186], And (all) the Most Beautiful Names belong to Allaah, so call on Him by them[al-Araaf 7:180]. al-Sunan wal-Mubtadaaat by al-Shuqayri, p. 124, Islam Q&A Recite Durood five times. She was asking if we could talk because she was really hurt and didnt know who to talk to. Springer. Which is not True!. Im stuck in a weird stage where a part of me feels like marriage isnt going to give me happiness, it comes with its own trials, yes there will be great moments but it can come with a lot of tests too. What Do I Do? Inshallah, you all wil find your pious spousesjust have patience and trust in Allahand u will experince it yourself. I was shocked and confused. Allhamdulliah I'm financially well off and I'm still in early 20s and I can get younger fertile women 18 year olds anyday. He told me that now that everything is in the open he would make it all work. He knew the right things to say and knowing that I had a really strong relationship with my family he worked everything around that, assuring me that he would be like an older brother to my siblings he would be the perfect son in law and he would support my dream of going to medschool and he said all that a girl in my shoes would want to hear. While hope does help individuals and comfort them, some will think, for certain people, it is only the case in the short term but not for long. Your commentvis full of arrogance! During this entire experience the only thing helping me push forward was my relationship with Allah, I would never skip my salah and was consistent with reading the Quran and making dua. iam so tired of being alone, iam so tired of looking for her(my better half) the one whom i will spend my life with. These are all possibilities that can happen. Losing hope in Allah's mercy is likened to disbelieving in Allah. How have you been?" "I'm doing great alhamdulillah; I just got a promotion at work, and I finished memorizing more of the Qur'an; my brother just had a baby girl." "Oh, Masha'Allah so when is it your turn to get married? 7. In fact, going to cause you even greater hardships than you are currently experiencing. Umi just want to remind you that Allah knows best, and maybe you want a thing for yourself but it isnt good now and will be good later. I thought he was angry or maybe even joking with me, but he wasnt. I dont even know what to do anymore. Essentially, I made a conscious decision to lose hope. I could see what he had put her through because it was almost a repeat of what had happened to me and it absolutely sucked seeing another woman be treated that way. This was the only thing that I held my ground for and did not let him break me. As time went on he was more and more persistent and he was very aware of my home life and how demanding everything is for me. Purification of the Heart: Signs, Symptoms and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart (pp. It hurt me because he did everything with his wife that we had promised to do with each other, Umrah, Dubai trip etc. I know its very hard. According to an Egyptian scholar, Dr Amru Al-Wirdani, hope flies with two wings; the wing of guided optimism and the wing of realism. I am on a bit of the chubbier side but I workout daily and I eat healthy. When my parents came in, they saw him and were extremely upset. There were times when things got tough as well because I was also very young and in full time school. I want to find contentment in being single. She saw the pain in me and she saw how broken I was. I am breaking apart every single day seeing how hurt my parents are. As understood from our Prophets saying, God will take good care of us. after Ishah namaaz, pray 500 times Ya Aleemo Ya lateefo (together..so this will count as 1)..and before and after this wazeefa recite 3 times any durood (it can be a short one aswell). I was okay with an arranged marriage (I live in north america) since my parents said they would not force me. Whereas in time of calamities and nearing death, he will strengthen his wing of hope for God is All-Merciful. However, the key thing is that we allow ourselves to then step back out of this feeling of helplessness and instead focus on the hope of Allah, on His mercy. I feel as if I have completely messed up my life. And to your Lord turn (all) your attention. Mash ALLAH <3 got really happy to hear that you found a good spouse. Answer: Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh. The principle concerning matters of worship is tawqeef [i.e., following what is in the Quraan and saheeh Sunnah; with no room for individual opinion]. When you help others, then you are less likely to be consumed by your own difficulties. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. I just dont know what to do anymore. May Allah bless us all with what's best for us. For instance, Abu Bakr married Aisha to Prophet MUHAMMAD [SAW]. If he thinks evil of me, he will have it.". of the tree -. Me? from the ground that arent as good, Shaytan (the accursed devil) has 2 major techniques: 1- To make the sin seem appealing, approachable and easy to do. Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered I am at such a low point that its affecting me and every aspect of my life. also, coconut chocolate muslims, who seek izzah from kuffaar, by speaking what pleases the kuffaar. Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa brakatuh, I pray this finds you well. This whole situation will have in fact been the thing that pushed you closer to Allah than ever, which is a blessing in itself. I wanted to heal and be me again. And ALLAAH knows best. It rejects heaven and hell . https://seekersguidance.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/woman-1350624_1280.jpg, https://seekersguidance.org/svg/Logo/SG_Logo_v23.svg. Remember, nothing is impossible for Allah. She had no way to come back to NA. Bravo fans are concerned for Erika Jayne's health amid her drastic weight loss. I lost the best years of my life to the wrong guy, I wasnt able to finish school at the right time, I just feel like a failure. Allah is All-Embracing, All-knowing. [Quran, 2.268] Dont Worry, definitely Allah has a plan for you. Losing Hope and Struggling with the Din - SeekersGuidance I know it is hard sometimes..because some brothers and sisters are praying for yearsbut still Allah looks at the heartand if ur heart is pure, and u put ur trust upon Allah..then Allah will hear ur prayers Inshallah. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. I couldnt give my family the happiness they deserved. 2) Perform the Prayer of Guidance every day until the day you get married. That is because they believe that Allah is the Creator of all things; that He has the . You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Losing Hope.. : r/MuslimMarriage Be confident that there is a good reason for us to be in the situations that we find ourselves seemingly stranded in at times. The moment we realise this, we shall understand none of our hope goes to waste. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Journal of Religion and Health, (1), 5771. These two situations are harmful to them both in this worldly life and, most importantly, the hereafter. .I am as well a single Muslim of 29 years, divorced and searching for suitable partner. I am losing hope and even get thoughts of marrying a non-Muslim man but I know this will be disaster for my relationship to Allah. Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa brakatuh. Heuvel, S. C. (2020). Consequently, we are likely to go against Gods commands and delay our repentance. I know some posts can get a lot of negative and toxic comments so I am really hoping that the people that interact are mature and understanding of everyone's different circumstances. The author of al-Sunan wal-Mubtadaaat said, after mentioning what al-Tirmidhi said concerning Faaid ibn Abd al-Rahmaan: Ahmad said he is matrook (left, i.e., his hadeeth is not to be accepted), and Ibn al-Arabi described him as daeef (weak). He is the one who is protecting you and guiding you to what is best for you. Unfortunately, when we go through such trials and are left feeling like our duas are not being accepted or even listened to, as humans, we have the tendency to just give up feeling like we are not being listened to. (2017). Not by any means. The choice is yours. "And return utterly in repentance . Im not good at english but inshaAllah i can understand well. I dont wear the hijab and I dont pray as often as I should. He stopped me in the hall and in front of about 50 people fell to his knees begging me to talk to him. Well, anywhere I go its just me and my daughter.. r/islam is the place to discuss any topics related to Islam & Muslims. May Allah help you brother.. Ameen Sum Ameen. I feel lonely whether when I am by myself or even when my daughter is with me. I was very naive and clueless in many matters and now looking back at it, it was dangerous and unhealthy to be that sheltered. im lil upset tht still i havent found my expected person to get , im really determinded to marry a good person plz everyone pray for me as ALLAH swt helps me find a good girl as my wife as well as my best friend.