How about the house? Good day I would like to co parent. Would need some advice please. The child is my brothers child. Im 4weeks along. Sole custody is hard unless there are very good reasons, therefore. Your son and the mother needs to enter into a parenting plan. Posted on May 9, 2016. If you cannot resolve it, then it must be taken to court. My husband is german so he tends to get loud when disciplining the kids. Hi. It is best to present your case to the best of your ability and then you would know what the court would decide. I assured her if that ever happened I would step in and take her and her ex husbands kids in besides her mother as her family is not fond of myself and always influencing her against me and that I will not allow her mother to leech off our relationship. How to disown son from family property - FREE LEGAL ADVICE - LawRato Could we suggest you set up a meeting with us to discuss your matter and advise you of your options and way forward? Also, make it clear in your will that she gets nothing. His R1200 only covers part of my electricity per month thats it. You can cut them out of your will, but you cannot become unrelated to someone unless you are legally adopted by someone else. what does the law say. I just want to know if there would be a possiblilty that i get sole custody, just to make all the decisions regarding my son, as his father has now shown no interest in being in his life, neither has the fathers mother. He blocked their numbers on whatsapp and calls. I did most of her milestones then when my wife get home i told her what she doing new ect she work from 8am till 17:00 and only get home around 18:00. The court declared the common law defence of "reasonable and moderate chastisement" which allowed parents to spank their children with the justification that it was discipline invalid and unconstitutional. There are also other factors, for example, schooling and so on. My son saw him twice while he was living at the shelter, as I was told that it would help with his recovery etc, my boy is almost 2 years old and doesnt know his father. What is dad change to get more time with his kid. What is my chance of getting joint custody but permanent residency with me. Joint custody is when both parents take care of the child. G* instituted divorce proceedings in April 2018 via Legal Aid. You can either approach the Children's Court of the High Court. Can a step mother take on the biological mother in a custody battle, I have been the primary care giver of my step daughter for almost 6 years. How do I file for joint custody in Cape Town, South Africa? They went to visit but now does not want to bring them back she says I was not married to they mother so it her children now. It would be best to approach the Maintenance Court to assistance and advise. Is there a possible chance for the father to gain full custody? Drinks and drives etc. In addition, the parent with whom the child lives must notify the other parent in writing of any change to his/her residential address. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. We have other young ladies living with us (the owner of the farm where he works) so that also prevents us from having one on one time with him. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. Divorce Questions, Answers and Free Resources Get information now. Primary would mean the child primarily lives by one parent. The biological mother has visitation excess during school holidays. You make a case for primary custody/care. It seems that you already have full custody as you care for the child all the time. He then lost his job because of theft last year August, which has caused me to be forced to move in with my boyfriend, even though his house was not large enough for all of us. As long as your estate has assets you leave behind, state law would dictate that those assets be used to pay for the care and maintenance of your children. I have always been a part of her life and she knows who I am. Also, you should get a copy of the report. For sole custody, you must convince the court that it would be in the childs best interests. I broke up with my partner, we have a two year old son. mother in law did it with Katie. Although the probate court typically follows a will's wording and distributes the deceased's assets accordingly, it's possible in most states for a relative who is not . 27 years later in 2000, a local newspaper helped facilitate a reunion with her mother before she died. You can have them move out and/or delete them, i cant delete them, i guess ill just wait until they are old enough to move out, Have you tested using going into CAS with. You would require the fathers consent for the child to leave South Africa. Any child (a person younger than 18 years of age) may be adopted, where: s/he is an orphan and there are no legal guardians or caregivers willing to adopt him/her; If you are a teenager, the legal way to disown your family is to become "emancipated" from them. You may approach the Childrens Court or the High Court. The school has advised that when my son is only with me he does very well at school and when has been with his dad he acts up and is very angry and aggressive. He now stays with his aunt in the same house. told me that my unemployed mother must also maintain my child. The problem here is that whenever the is disagreement between baby mom and his granny, they move him to stay with his great grandparents and evertime this happen he have to dropout of the school and go to new school the following year, of which this started in 2016, 2017 it happened, this year it happen again. Send us your details and one of our consultants will be in touch, LIPCO Group (Pty) Ltd, Authorised FSP: 7508, Policies sold by LIPCO Business (Pty) Ltd, Authorised FSP 43170, Products underwritten by ABSA Insurance Company Ltd, National Adoption Coalition South Africa (. He threatened to have me arrested if I shall try to move her out with me. Social worker was appointed. Sandra eventually left her first husband and married Johannes Motloung, and had three more children. We cannot advise you to change their surname or not. I asked her if I could go smoke as I have to make sure I get permission from her 1st. Wha, I\'m in similar scenario, wife filled 498a then changed the h, How can close the fir of false on missing person, Legal age of girl and girl family not ready for marriage. Although my ex has always paid child maintenance and all school fees, medical (as per divorce decree) couldnt I afford accommodation for my daughter and myself since Ive been jobless and unable to find employment. The children (both below 6) want to be with the father and theyve expressed this many times. We do not want to guess and tell you yes or not based on the limited information. Unhygienic living circumstances The court would then decide if it is in the childs best interests. Now the father is threatening to take me to court for full custody because my employment is out of town and because my son does not stay with me but my family, and yet he has no source of income. Most people should not disinherit their child. On 2 separate occasions she left my son in Belhar at the aunt in a high risk area known for kidnappings and gang violence (she tends to leave my kids with strangers), they traumatized my toddler cutting his hair with a machine which resulted in him falling breaking his mouth which was busted for a couple days. Hours of talking it seemed we were getting somewhere, we ended up passionately making up. After a year of paying fine, he came to reduce the maintenance, which I thought was fair as it was quite a high amount (this is an amount he suggested initially) The maintenance was then verbally reduced to R8000 per month. I was never married and after giving birth to my son , the father and I split up. Im the parent of primary residence and the dad is the alternate. She has no interest in our son and hasnt seen him in months. 14 Parents Who Have Disowned a Child Share Their Stories - did you know? Me and my wife recently got a divorce. He neglected our youngest child which resulted in a speech delay, and he is now questioning why she is not speaking age appropriately. You did all you could and then some. I'm not interested in ever seeing him again. the relationship between the child and the person whose parental responsibilities and rights are being challenged; the degree of commitment that the person has shown towards the child; and. The Law looks at what is best for the child. If you want sole guardianship, you would need to apply to the court. He wants to have her for weekends but i do not feel comfortable with that, he and his family lives in a very dangerous area and i need to protect my daughter. Hi jisduit -- first wanted to say that I remember you (especially since we're not far from each other). Usually the settlement agreement or consent paper or parenting plan will deal with issue of moving decision making etc. These can also be seen as a set of parental rights; the right to care for a child; to have and to maintain contact with the child; and the right to act as a guardian of the child. I suggested he remove her from medical aid ( he was always complaining about it when I took her to the dr) and he must pay R2000 instead of R900 the court ruled in his favour, he was ordered( but nothing was signed) to pay R1000, buy clothes twice a year for R1500 and the Clerk So each family and situation is unique. Good day. I support her and her children financially when they reside with me/us. The mother is engaged to another man, the father has a steady girlfriend. So I took her kids (2) of which I took in as my own even though they Zulu and not even having kids of my own cause I Loved her and grew fond of them, and went to play with them at the jungle Jim (I always took her kids out to the beach, restaurants even to church). The second time around i had the police come with me to fetch him as the father refused to bring him back to me. The aim of contact is to give the non-primary carer the opportunity to preserve to some extent a parent-child relationship. In the year that they have been with me she only bought my son 1 summer outfit for Christmas and nothing for my daughter. How to Disown a Relative I have a step son of almost 18 years old and is a massive problem.He has been kicked out of three different schools and out of two jobs in the last three months.He says he is untouchable and the law protects him.He was in court for damage to property and pushed his mom around and now he does not want to go out and look for work.This guy is destroying our marriage and our health.We have been to 5 different social workers and two pshycologists and nothing has worked.Is there any legal way we can ask this guy to leave home that we can try to get our lives together. What is the best way forward ? The MORNING of the 1st/2nd, She decided to completely leave me back to her Mom place. Activist and researcher Dee Black from theNational Adoption Coalition South Africa (NACSA) highlighted the following issues: Alarmingly, child protection specialists have also argued that the law does very little to facilitate the adoption of abandoned children who find themselves on the Registry of Adoptable Children & Parents (RACAP). She is the primary care giver but the 2 kids I have with her, lives with me since May 2018. We also work about 5 km away from each other. Yes, we suggest that you pay maintenance on his behalf. Thanks. Thank you. The morning I woke up to the noises of scrambling things together banging dishes I thought we solved the issue i was never unfaithful to her. Questions on Divorce Frequently Asked Questions and Answers South Africa, Best Top Attorney and Advocate in Cape Town South Africa, Tricks and tips on how to win your child maintenance case. You have a right to contact your children pending the divorce. Please advise on steps I can do to take all decisions for the children and not the grandmother. December 29, 2021 by LawStuffExplained If the child is an adult, the answer is probably yes. in our home there is no confusion and kids are kids. but he is withholding maintenance and medical treatment for the child because he demands to know where they live. Approach the maintenance court and explain to them your situation ASAP. I asked her if I could go smoke as I have to make sure I get permission from her 1st. The mother of a child is not working/never work before so Im the only parent who is supporting him. Good day. Somehow It worked her up further i took her phone from charge to keep it as she was threatening to call people for me (as a prior incident her family had there dog bite me when I came to visit the father) I assumed this was out anger & still tried calming her down again & eventually I got smacked then she took our kids and walked out on me. However, there is no such law that you can disown your parents and also until you are a minor they are bound to take care you and provide you with all the needs and requirements. Can I Legally Disown My Family? - FindLaw Uncontested Divorce - What Happens on the Court Day? How do I legally disown / disinherit an adult child to cut them out of She would then be in contempt of court. Please advise how i should handle this :(. Good day We advise you approach the Childrens Court for assistance in resolving the issues. This best interest of the child principle was established in international law and entrenched in the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa as well as in section 9 of the Childrens Act. If your child does not buy you a birthday present or forgets to call you on Mother's Day - even if it is every year without fail - do not run . I allow him to see the child at my home, I am soon to be relocating to a different city for a better career opportunity. im not working. What is adoption? In terms of section 28 of the Act a court can grant an order suspending any or all of a person's parental responsibilities and rights for a period; can completely terminate any or all parental responsibilities and rights; and can grant an order that circu Family and Divorce law Home Divorce The Reasons for Divorce Is it possible under these circumstances that I can get immediate custody? Yes, he can. For full custody, you would have to show the court that it is best for the children involved. Can the fact that she is unemployed affect her claim to joint custody of the children? You can either approach the Childrens Court of the High Court. Now new years eve we all gathered at home where we living with other tenants until after midnight I had to go back to sleep. Now and then I would receive a message asking how I am. And he is threatening. He doesnt want to agree to a visitation schedule. My difficult child is 34yo and I am just so tired of it. Me with this cost in order to make me stay. A primary caregiver is a parent who primarily takes care of the child. Feel free to visit our Online Store, by clicking here. My question is. A few months ago she came around to the house I bought her flowers to apologize if I hurt her in anyway, she told me to come around Wednesday which I did and got seduced, not even 5 mins after our Special time she asked me money I told her I was unemployed and struggling to find work as I got retrenched before covid hit. Baby safes are illegal, however, these are being opened up more frequently given the increase in abandonment. The home atmosphere and our parents behavior is mentally very disturbing. His mom is the one taking him to the doctors, when he sick. Disowning adult children - when is enough enough ?? any thoughts Good day It is best you set up a meeting with us or a lawyer to discuss the process should you wish to proceed. Since 2012 he did not made any payment for 5years but he had a carpenter job for that time. He also made arrangements that he can have off to play games. . My ex would not let me see my son when im suppose to and only sends him to me when she has an inconvenience in the last 2 years i saw my son about 5 times only. We advise that you speak to a social worker who can advise you on whether sole custody is in the childs best interests. Parental Options for Out-of-control 16-year-olds The morning I woke up to the noises of scrambling things together banging dishes I thought we solved the issue i was never unfaithful to her. She says they dont want to see their father but he really wants to see them, can he force them to see him? He earns more money than me but has a tremendous amount of debt. I broke down again and left. He doesnt want to sign him off, out of spite. Any advice ? Will the courts award me sole custody because he is unwilling to co-parent? Is Samantha Weinstein Related to Harvey Weinstein? until they have to call police and an ambulance so i feel that my daughter is not safe. My child and I plan on moving to a diffirent country. How much should I pay or contribute as a parent? For the rest of the questions, we advise you visit the Childrens court and discuss it with them. If you want sole custody of your child, you would have to approach a court for that. court date 17/9/2018. I, 0211110090 Legal Services Bo-Kaap Cape Town Western Cape. I approached the court because last month I was denied access to my child and told to appear in court in August. I would like to obtain sole custody or something similar, where I am the only person required to apply for passports, travel, school, etc without requiring a signature of the dad. There are no specific skills. I think in some areas the victims can write letters instead of appearing. The court would then decide if it is in the childs best interests. Good day. The principle in our law is that you should act in your childs best interests. I have a 12 year old daughter who lives with my ex, her mum. It seems you already have custody over your son. When both parents care for the child jointly. Good day Father of 1 Divorced for 5 years. Besides disowning him in your will, you will also want a living will that specifically excludes him from making any decisions for you and your minor children if you are incapacitated. She tried to get herself reclassified as colored but her father denied her and even when a 1977 movie was made about her, it was banned in South Africa. I would look into that if I were you so that you can avoid the trauma of having to actually go there in person. The relevant case is Petersen v Maintenance Officer Simons Town Maintenance Court and Others 2004 2 SA 56 (C) 381 . The mother has up to now been the primary caregiver and has support from our family. The father of my child stays at a boarding house. Go to an atty and draw up a will and living will and whatever documents are needed to make sure he is not ever in charge of your children. Good day There are many factors to consider, the kids schooling, the parents working hours, where you stay etc. Hi there, You are using an out of date browser. She is now 6 years old. On my smoke along the beach a woman approached me leaned in and was trying to kiss me of which I pulled back & rejected, I turned my head and saw Shandri was watching me I immediately got up and walked towards her of which she went off on me, I tried calming her down in the car as she wanted to leave and I explained what transpired. You and the other children need to heal and move on. I asked her familys number she refused giving it to me as I held them responsible for injuring my child he is extremely fearful of machines and grass cutters that is not new to anyone his a toddler. Parental rights and responsibilities over a Child in South Africa Families are complicated. I there a way I can do this that is going to be beneficial for her? Got divorced after being married for 15 yrs then he told me he is gay!. Many abandoned children dont even make it into the formal child protection system, as they are absorbed into communities through informal adoption, raising concerns around issues such as child trafficking. What are my chances. If thats not possible, the social worker can also assist with placing the child in a youth care centre. They could possibly assist you. Be the first one to comment. My dad lived in Brandermill until he died in 2010. I called her throughout the pregnancy I was outright refused to be apart of the journey to my first borns special moments. Our settlement is that we have joint custody of our 4 year old son and I am the primary care giver and he goes to his dad every other weekend. Im a single mom with 2 young kids of my own but I would like to take her in. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. any other fact that should, in the courts opinion, be taken into account. The father has agreed to give an avidavit of consent. This did not end her tribulations as she had her two children taken away from her for 10 years. We advise that you approach the Childrens Court to resolve this issue. We moved to Jhb about 3 years ago from Cpt and Im the primary care taker of our daughter as the mother travels a lot and work late hours. They do have a child of 19 months. The house is filthy (rats for pets) and his mother would sporadically turn off the water, etc. What all separated parents should know prior to the holiday season. he is still abusive in his communication with me, and often resorts to threats to get me to answer him. But I didnt take the matter to maintenance court since Im working. What you would require is a court order. Shandri has been taking monthly pills injections and morning after pills she made me stop for her to go buy cause she did not want to be pregnant from me. My daughter (K) decided to divorce her husband after 11 months of marriage. If you are talking about her current care and custody, a parent who doesn't reside with you or someone else who adopts or becomes her guardian are the options. Would the court award sole custody to a mother when the father of the child refuses to agree to a parenting plan, is inconsistent with visitation, refuses to divulge his address, has changed his contact numbers without informing the childs mother, has never paid towards the childs maintenance and disappears when decisions pertaining to the child need to be made. He lives about 2hours away. Please advise. The father gets the school reports etc. View our Disclaimer Notice / Terms of Use, DID YOU KNOW: Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf was the advocate who won a groundbreaking case for his client. So changing the wording would not affect anything. And to ensure that they stay in the stable living environment that they currently have? Who ensures the childs best interests are met. The Law of Contract in South Africa (Dale Hutchinson and Others) Strategic Management (Lynette Louw; Peet Venter) . This is breaking my Sons heart as he always asks why he is left behind whenver we visit my husbands family. We advise that you approach the Childrens Court ASAP, or get an attorney to deal with this matter. A section in the parenting plan of my daughters upcoming divorce states: Each of the Parents will advise the other 2 (two) weeks in advance of the whereabouts of (the child) if she is to be away from the usual residence of the Parent for periods longer than 3 (three) days.. Good morning my ex boyfriend dumped me after I told him that our son is sick, he told me that Im testing him and I want him to carry a burden knowing that he wont be able to carry. He lives about 2hours away. You would need to approach the Court for an order that the fathers consent is not required for the relocation of the child. At the time of her removal I was living with my ill aunt and asked the social worker removing her if its possible for me to take care of her. My question is what steps can I take to prevent my kids from being her financial gain. DID YOU KNOW: Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf was the advocate who won a ground-breaking case for his client? they even got a protection order against us because by now my husband and I have 2 daughters of our own and they were in same school than half sister (2010). Im supporting him financial, we have a great relationship me and him, i call him four times a week, he have strong relationship with my siblings as he normal ask to go to visit them every times school closes or visit me. Good day Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. We have been married for 16 years of witch i have always worked for him in his bussinesses, so now i have no income and he says for that he will take kids because i cant provide for them? The court would then decide if it is in the child's best interests. The issue is on some weekends when my brother asks to take the child for the weekend she would refuse or always suggest alternative days. His ex is very toxic in that she is refusing to let his boys who are 16 turning 17 soon to see him. I will be moving abroad after 3 years from now for work after completing my education. While it is illegal, there are various reasons that parents abandon their children. Can I get divorced without a parenting plan? Let. Telephonic contact he dont keep and even dont try and call on my cell to speak to her never mind send her a birthday card thus as far as those rights he defaulted. My child often does not want to go. he has attempted suicide before and has acted violently in various occasions. Been divorced for 6yrs. Location: COURTS - JUVENILE; JUVENILES - DELINQUENCY; You asked what parents can do when their 16- or 17-year olds run away or are beyond their control. The court would look at what is best for the child. His advice on my maintenance issue allowed me to proceed further on my own, with the maintenance court. What is the effect of Parental Alienation on children? He was impressed by the school and said its a good school, I also moved from a small apartment to a bigger house where the child can have their own space. Recently my husband filed for full custody (due to the threats and interference we were getting from the BM) but didnt go through with it after the court ordered the biological mother to stop. They need to enter into a parenting plan and have it made an order or court or registered at the Family Advocate. He has told me on multiple occasions that he will fight for the kids and make me loose everything if I try and divorce him which has been my main reason for staying. The child was very young and should be between 18 and 22 years old now. He would then apply to be the primary care-giver. he has given her love and care and provided for her for years and excepts her as his own. At the end of the day, what is best for the child would be the deciding factor. Not long after that she was removed by a social worker and the court order states that she has no parent/care giver suitable to take care of her. In this time he hasnt been around. Custody right now is split 50/50, though the father still pays maintenance. My ex wife and I got divorced 3 weeks ago she took my 2 kids without informing me and God knows where they are she refuses to let me speak to them also I think she is trying to relocate with my kids to Johannesburg the courts are closed I dont know how my kids are doing the police do not want to help me what can I do to gain access to my children I am desperate at this moment. I would want to be the primary care giver for my kids as she dont have time for them I am in a custody battle with a man who was found to have 5 possible mental disorders by a court psychologist,but also has bi polar and anxiety disorder.Long story short.A judge ignored reccomendations by family advocate and court pychologist and gave the father 6 days.Since that time he has tried to frame me to make me look like a bad mother so much to the point that it really started affecting our special needs 5 year old child.Eg He got the child expelled from school because he accosted the owner of the nursery school.I had to withdraw on a verbal level as he told me God appointed him to be my sons protector and he had to protect him from me.Further more my lawyer has stonewalled me since Jan.He is friends with the fathers lawyer.I have asked repeatedly what school my child is inI get ignored.Please help.Nothing has been changed on the court order.What do I do? Father of 3. Ive never seen of her or my son after that day. On my smoke along the beach a woman approached me leaned in and was trying to kiss me of which I pulled back & rejected, I turned my head and saw Shandri was watching me I immediately got up and walked towards her of which she went off on me, I tried calming her down in the car and explained what transpired.