Despite their condescending behavior, always keep a positive attitude in dealing with them. Suite #100Highland Heights, OH 44143 If you are an individual or manager doing any of the above, either knowingly or unknowingly, its critical that you stop your actions. A condescending tone of voice can sometimes go unnoticed, but if things persist, youll notice that this person doesnt take you too seriously. Can we start there by going back to the overall objective of the project, and well work together to get you what you need., Executive Coach for Leaders in Tech | Trainer | Speaker. These people might be doing it because they lack self-confidence or they have a high ego. NBCUniversal Television Distribution Disrespect can manifest itself in all sorts of ways in the office. Even for those who dislike any sort of confrontation, remember: don't just brush it off! Condescending coworkers can leave you feeling devalued, dismissed, and completely annoyed. Til next time, figure things out for yourself. Usually, those who do this have nothing good to say about you, but rather prefer to peddle ill or bad comments about you to others. It's not too hard to pick out this type of behavior as Lea McLeod writes for the Daily Muse, it's designed to make you feel stupid: "This type of passive-aggressive behavior is meant to put you in your place, even though it's often disguised as reasonable or friendly. Does the thought of writing a cover letter horrify you? Here are some steps to take. That is, assume the person had a positive intention when saying or doing what (s)he did. This is the third time this month that youve sent a similar email., When I read that, I understood it to mean that you dont believe I know how to do my job well., When I hear that, it makes me believe that you think Im not smart enough to figure things out., What did you want me to take away from this series of emails?, Based on what you said, our initial understanding of the purpose of our project may be off track. Looking for work can be scary, especially if youve been at it for a long time and havent gotten any results. Step 1: Understand Their Motivation Though passive-aggressive behavior can be incredibly frustrating, it's a good idea to take a pause before you react to consider why your coworker might be acting this way. Interrupting someone who is speaking - either during formal meetings or coffee break banter - is disrespectful and makes the speaker feel unheard and disregarded. But its also good to be aware of when you might be modulating your voice in a way that sends the wrong message. Your department head is useless, your HR department isnt even around, and you sound like a big ol weenie who cant fend for yourself. "Don't ask questions you can answer yourself, don't plan meetings that you don't need, and don't take forever getting back to people," saysErin Greenwald in an article for the Daily Muse. Will this feedback be a complete surprise? Building positive relationships with other colleagues and seeking mentors or advocates can also contribute to your career development. If you mess up, you should brace for the possibility that your boss will call you out. In any case, if someone is being condescending, the best way to make them stop is to beat them with experience. Envy acts as anti-creation. Saying natch instead of naturally. But its not over, Stuck. Also, remember to emphasize how their attitude or behavior has affected your work input or output. Condescension is a subtle form of workplace bullying, and it is important to learn how to deal with condescending coworkers. 19 Commons Signs of a Condescending Person - Live Bold and Bloom Most of the time their behavior actually has nothing to do with you personally. Additionally, doing this makes everyone involved in the conversation uncomfortable and could portray the employee as rude and narcissistic. It is also not protected under law. Condescending people think they're smarter than everyone else. These days, if any behavior triggers me, my go-to tool is to look within as to why this is so. Addressing condescending behavior in a group setting can be challenging, but here are some tips that can help you: Stay calm and professional: Dont let one persons behavior derail the entire conversation or meeting. What that means is that when the coworkers who are condescending work closely with you and are integral to your daily duties, then it becomes a challenge. And they are not the type of coworkers you want to be around at work. If theyre pretending like they know what theyre talking about, show them what you really know and make them quiet. Those are the kind of jokes that are said to be expensive. Probably not. As we go on, you will learn the best ways to deal with them. And that can be a sign of condescension from a coworker. Are you terrified of screwing up a job interview? It is often said that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Accuse the . People have different attitudes and behaviors, and as such, you would always find condescending coworkers in your office. Just the facts. When you have interactions with people who frustrate you because they seem condescending, try to get to the heart of the thought that you are having that bothers you. People dont remember the words you use, Siani says. The problem is that she is in charge of scheduling and is an unofficial shift supervisor, even though officially we are equals job-wise. With that in mind, condescension can take all forms of behavior including things such as passive-aggressive actions, offensive jokes, name-calling, ridicule/insults, and more. Do it. Employees may dread or fear seeing the individual, not enjoy tasks or activities they liked before, and can even become physically ill from the stress of these actions. However, I cant think of any good options other than a direct confrontation, which I worry will play right into her hands. You need to be prepared when facing a condescending coworker, or else you will lose self-confidence. 1. They make decisions for you. If you take it personally, seeing it as an attack, then you will respond emotionally, which might escalate the problem. Its important not to respond aggressively to a condescending remark to avoid workplace drama. Or tweet at me with #ToughLove! Then, confront your co-worker privately so they are aware of how you feel. My department head doesnt really like getting her hands dirty, and tends to avoid issues of conflict. If so, what feedback did you provide and when? When that happens you tend to make less clear and logical decisions, and you resort to more emotional ones. A simple retort saying that their remarks feel condescending and that you dont appreciate it can often put the matter at bay. Youll probably find that it was a specific word or tone this person used, or the way it was delivered, that set you off. With professional resume templates you will make a great first impression and you can grab the recruiters attention who normally spend just six seconds when scanning through each resume. Reddit Ask Social media Mobile app Meta/Reddit Information & communications technology Technology . They remember how you make them feel. If you are often accused of being condescending or simply recognize some patterns and trying to change that and build relationships, you must make a conscious choice to understand the people you are around. They do not want to entertain the idea that you already know about that thing or share the same knowledge that they do. You simply need to train people on what is acceptable and what is not. Take the higher road and reinforce the type of conversation that youd like to have. Bonds the team: It can strengthen a team's bond, as everyone is reminded that they are all on equal terms. My advice for dealing with a condescending coworker is not to stoop to their level or take what is said personally. Controlling Behavior: Signs and How to Respond - Verywell Health If you are currently facing those types of coworkers in your place of work, then this article is for you. No one else can make us do or feel anything. Some may feel a vague discomfort at work towards their perpetrator that they cannot recognize. It can. It's much harder to sense when we're doing it ourselves. Rather than explaining the difficulties of your situation, explain what you want to do to make it better. When you take things personally, it will affect your judgment by clouding your logical thoughts with more emotional ones. You cant pick your coworkers but you can let them know that its not okay to treat you improperly, and that includes being condescending. Signs of passive-aggressive behavior include being sarcastic, talking behind your back, displaying negative body language and giving the silent treatment. When things get deep, theyll make a joke.. This will give credence to your observations and help you get the help you seek. Additionally, doing this makes everyone involved in the conversation uncomfortable and could portray the employee as rude and narcissistic. Another attitude that usually comes off as condescending from coworkers is belittling your opinions or feelings. Sometimes people are condescending on purpose, in order to trap you into conflict. We may earn a commission from links on this page. Therefore, if someone on your team or a close contact at work is condescending, call the person and have the conversation. They have no regard for the experience, skills, or even the competence of their coworkers, but see themselves as better. Executive & Career Coach,Terry B. McDougall Coaching | Author,Winning the Game of Work. Mentally rehearse being assertive without being aggressive or defensive, and clearly state what you would like or need to communicate in a calm voice, and talk to yourself internally in a kind and soothing way. Premium, professional and easy to edit resume templates for Microsoft Word. It also ensures that we do not stoop to their level and get into petty arguments and disagreements that take away from the workday and what youre meant to be focusing on at the present time. 20 Subtle Signs of Bullying at Work - ERC This is why it so often goes undetected in the workplace, and your employees could be suffering because of it. Use I/me language. How to deal with a coworker writing condescending emails? One in four employees is affected by it. Shut down a passive aggressive coworker with 5 steps (2023) Your coworker might also have constructive criticism for you, and its important that you are willing to accept your own shortcomings in order to move forward. 4. If you stay honest with yourself and that doesn't seem to be the case, then there's a strong chance that your coworkers aren't treating you properly which is unacceptable. They do not say these things to your face, but rather prefer to say them before other people when you are not there. + Show 9 more. Welcome to Tough Love. Ignoring boundaries. It is always good and proper to ask for assistance especially when you are faced with a situation that is proving hard for you to handle yourself. These two words actually refer to the same thing. If its not reasonable (i.e. People who don't listen to you don't take you seriously, at all. Whether it is coming from someone who is a boss or in a superior position, or one who is just a colleague, it is wrong and a sign of condescension. If you dont want to deal with a condescending co-worker, you have to nip this behavior in the bud. However, if your authority is constantly being questioned, criticized, or skirted, you should probably take note especially if your adversaries are on the same level or below you on the hierarchy. Here are some tips for neutralizing their effect on you. Here are a few things to remember. What about what this person said irritated you? The volume or pitch of our voice drastically changes how we are perceived. Also, share how it has impacted you negatively. 7 ways to manage a condescending employee | HRD Asia 7. Men dont have always have the skillset to sit in their feelings, Crossman says. If you need to, talk it out with someone else before you bring it up to your co-worker. Be as specific as possible. Tell me, and maybe I can help. It may seem benign, Siani says, but what youre saying is, Your feelings are unimportant to me. Some condescending attitudes from coworkers to deal with are not deliberate, and they might even be oblivious of it. It might be that they are in higher positions in the organization, and as such feel, it is proper to disregard or belittle those under them. You're taken abackthis coworker has only worked here for a few months, whereas you've been at your job for years now. Have an open conversation. Why? Distracted behavior, a lack of eye contact, sneering, or eye rolling are all pretty bad signs. 8 Ways You're Being SHUT OUT Of The Hiring Process, 1-hour workshop to help job seekers figure out what's getting them tossed from the hiring process.