A teen was lost for just over 2 days in the wilderness may u have a very happy and healthy baby. Talk to your husband openly and tell him about your wish and what you want from your husband. he said look, we both decided on praying and trying to conceive for the next 2 months after ramadhan if nothing happens then talk about it. I really don't know how women share their husbands. The answer: Your husband has to change his job, if it is As far as the car, if it is your husband's car, then yes she will ride in it. Women in Islam [Part 2] This feeling will bring u positive results insha allah. When gratitude is lacking, discontent will settle in the heart. I am feeling si good about myself after that conversation with her. If you do that, and your husband refuses to take that into consideration and wants to move forward with a new wife, you always have the option of khula. Dear Christine: How Can I Cope with an Ungrateful Spouse? will i be able to give him babies will i be able to share my husband, will i be able to live in a family with a third wheel? I know you feel hurt, but suicide is a much worse forever pain and as you know it is a grave sin. Allaah, The Exalted, enjoined both spouses to live with one another in kindness; He says (what means): {And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable} [Quran 2:228] Please refer to fatwas86618 and 88304. Is reading fiction or books about sinful themes haram? Always being critical to them wont help you in a relationship. i understand completely but in our families alhamdulliah no one has done second marriage without a valid reason. When we have faith in Allah, and believe in Him and put all trust in Him, He makes the most amazing things happen. Talking to my reflection. If you want to deal with him on the basis of justice, then it is permissible for you to respond in like to his unkind words, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "And if you punish (your enemy), then punish them with the like of that with which you were afflicted" [al-Nahl 16:126]. (BUKHARI and MUSLIM). My best advice is to stop doing what puts him in the camp of owing you. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel and my tunnel is almost reaching the light, InshALLAH. Anna p.s your advices and amy's advices are like GOLD for me <3 I will keep them safe and I will focus on them. In the beginning I tried to be open and make the best of it. The same holds true for gratitude. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. He has warned her more than once, but she insists on insulting him. However i have some advice for u and u can take if u want or throw it if u dont care coz sister nadia and sister Amy specially have given u some great input. Be kind, gentle, and loving. At the end of all that was said and done, she has realized that not every victory is worth the battle. Lots of Love and Best wishes: Dont giveup on urself. You will have to deal with being compared if her character is milder than yours, or if she treats him more honestly than you. Wa min hama-zaa-tish shayaa-teen. My husband replied and said NO i don't want to get married I want kids from you. Women To be ungrateful to one's husband .. August 15, 2017 AbdurRahman.org. But when Allah blessed me with my frist pregnancy, i misscarried it but we both had more hope from Allah! And then i made my decision that i will help him find someone, because it will b hard gor him to do so. Am I Ungrateful for Rejecting a Proposal? If a woman disobeys her husband she entails the curse of Allah, the angels and all people. Still ur advice about this world was a good reminder to us all. The power of the mind and the hope of the heart are amazing things--though I didn't realize it then. These are all issues that need attention, and can easily be fixed. You have spent way yo much time on worrying about a baby for him and a new wife for him, NOW, its about u. focus on ur health. If this husband does not change his severe behavior towards his wife, relatives have to advise him wisely, because supporting the cause of a wronged one brings good in this life and the afterlife. this delima is not abnormal for anyone in a situation like urz. But from what I saw after married and heard from others that my husband and his siblings loved their father first wife more then their own mother so everyone called her mother as well. Whatever you fixate on will then flow from the inside out. You should also not forget to frequentlysupplicate Allaah to guide your husband and make him come to his senses (and start thinking sensibly). Mashallah. Ungrateful Husband : r/MuslimMarriage I try my best to keep him attracted to me, I keep myself clean, i die my hair always, love myself in curly hair. Iam so glad that u feel positive. I have done alot of reasearch and i have studied myself too, i know i wont be able to live this way with an other lady, i might take khula, that is my extend. And they said no to him and said look yourself. Remember me in prayers, thank you ANNA, My prayers are with youi hope you have some great news soon and may Allah grant you peace and happiness in both world! And do not force him to marry. Netflix 's Sex Education is coming to an end. May Allah bless us all. It may look like i am forcing my husband to remarry, but i am in a situatiln that there is nothing left for me to do. You say everything is happy and great with you all, but yet can say you feel unloved by him. I tend to think you might find yourself in a worse position if you don't think this all through thorougly, and make the right decision for your family, and we don't want to see that happen. Sister Amy, As-Salamu 'Alaikum sister, So I would suggest start working on your marriage. I don't want to say anything wrong as I am really afraid of ALLAH one day how will I face ALLAH if I do something wrong. Was Forced to Marry and Her Husband Cannot Join Her Except After Years, Refused Many Proposals Then Got Married but Is Unhappy, She Asked Her Husband for Khul and He Answered the Next Day, Conducted Marriage Contract but Wife Asks for Khul, Two Divorces and Khul and then Marriage without Wali, Husband Sexting With Women so She Asked For Khul, Religions, Sects and Da'wah (Call to Islam), Jinaayaat (Criminology) and Islamic Judicial System, Islamic Politics and International Affairs, Medical Issues, Media, Culture and Means of Entertainment. Subhanallah! even if he remarries, it is only Allah that can give children, and Allah can decide to withold it again. You curse so frequently and you are ungrateful to your husbands. It's not even your responsibility to find him a wife; if that's something he wants he need to be the one to find her. Anna, may Allah give you what your heart desires. The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Birds in the sky, whales in the water, angels in the heaven, the sun and the moon will all ask Allah to forgive women who obey their husbands so long as they are pleased with them. i am crying since Jan. 2013 until today May 15,2013. Today the docs gave me more hope. so i feel that now i don't need to talk about it, and if i feel pain ALLAH is the one who I will talk to, and ofcourse I have great caring people here, who can help me as well. Disrespectful Husband: 15 Warning Signs and Ways to Handle Then he moved away and went to the women, and Bilal was with him. i can't even spell anymore, or even know what to say or type, my vocabulary is zero now. Personally, if you decide to go forward with polygamy, I think it's a bad idea to do the footwork in finding a wife for your husband. i agree with nadia 100%. Is it haram to egg donor/surrogate mother between wives of a husband? The Prophet (S) said, Travel is a part of torment. My husband is desperate to have a child of his own. If he needs help with the shopping and cooking, let him ask you for specific favors. Grant unto me from Thee a progeny that is pure: for Thou art He that heareth Prayer! (Al-Imran, 3:38). The mother of all miracles is when Allah blessed Virgin Maryam (Mary) with Prophet Isa (Jesus) (alaihim al-Salm) when no man had ever touched her. I told him that I will help him find a suitable girl for him. If he wants to take another wife and he thinks he can afford her, then let him do so. Being ungrateful to husband equal hell, being ungrateful to god equals hell hence husband=god This is an example of the Fallacy of the undistributed middle. I don't want you to incline in front of either one of us, u will ahve to be equal in all means, in love shopping, divide of days and nights, etc. I will keep myself busy in recitation of the QURAN and also in NAMAZ and will keep praying. Maybe you will be good but she mint be not good. If you don't feel you can handle the polygamy, tell your husband. Friday morning, her husband made breakfast for the kids, made her a juice as she wished. If possible I think you should talk to your mother about your emotion this kind of time there has to be someone who you can share your tears with of course Allah is number one. verily with hardship comes ease. Brother my hope and faith towards Allah is endless inshallah. I was a school principal, so I continued my job. He said iam good and suggested stuff and i told him how i want it too. I want my own. i know i will have to face more challenges in future, coz they come in episodes with uncertain interims. Boyfriends father thinks my family isnt educated enough. think about ur joy. Again it is only 50 50 that he will marry or not, he wants to marry but only for kids, he said if i can give him a pregnancy in the next two months he will never think to marry. Now my husband even blackmaled me i to this. My boyfriends parents dont approveshould we part ways? So all of us were then thrust into polygamy, arguably, against our will. it is really my husbands headache i don't know why i took it so much. But one thing I don't understand, and maybe it is my shortcoming, is when men, generally speaking, say "don't be grieved if your husband wants another wife." :'( Oh ALLAH guide my husband and i to the right path, and bestow us with your blessings Ameen. I will never chalenge Allah. alhamdulliah. At present, do not spoil your relationship with your husband by showing hopelessness and forcing him to do what he does not want to. Alhamdulliah, everything is going well. The below mentioned dua was recited by Prophet Ibrahim (alaihim al-Salm). This was after being infertile for 3 years and having a miscarriage in my last pregnancy. What should he do? It is narrated in a hadith that Jabir said: I attended the prayer with the Messenger of Allah () on the day of Eid. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Most people in Hellfire will be females - Islamweb - Fatwas After our marriage, I came to know that he was jobless. Supplication humbles us and can help us control our anger. (A: A husband may permit his wife to leave the house for a lesson in Sacred Law, for invocation of Allah (dhikr), to see her female friends, or to go to any place in the town. Then, do not purchase the Doctors explanation. Show affection for your mate. I also know a two co-wives who live in the same house they are fine. hadith 19 September 2017 0 Less than a minute Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) How To Deal With An Ungrateful Husband | Paul Friedman For example: A-oo-dhoo bi-ka-li-maa till-laa-hit taaam-ma-ti min gha-da-bi-hee wa i-qaa-bi-hee wa shari ibaa-dih. I am confused what do they pray for, me to have children, or for my husband to find a suitable wife they told me so many stories about people, and one of their cousin who was also in the same situation as my husband and i. so now iam just focused on my treatments and working on them, today i got the best news from the doctors, i was in shock, but happy, i think my dream that i was shown from ALLAH will come true, for sure this month. "(Al-Saffat, 37-100). One more problem he is the only sibling from his family and i am the only sibli g in my family who dont have kids. If you don't mind can you tell me how your relationship is with the co-wive and how you both are together I need to know so I will know how to behave also. Do you want to get a Weekly magazine? I have done a lot of study on the second marriages in Islam, what the man's rights are what the woman's rights are, what will have happen if man doesn't treat wives equally, what happen to the wive who doesn't give permission, to the husband to remarry. By using his father's sickness. there is nothing of worth in this worldly life. Rahil (Rachel) wife of Prophet Yaqoob( Jacob) (alaihim al-Salm) was unable to become a mother for a long time. u may not b in control of what he chooses to do but u sure have a hell lot of control of how u want to feel and u want you live. But now i dont feel that my husband is asking me forgiveness and wishes he never said to me that he wants to remarry for kids. They don't have any reason to complain. Can I divorce my husband without a valid reason? I have been a nurse for over eight years and have seen many women who were told they could get pregnant by any chance and then boom:-) they naturally do..stress can kill fertility,just relax and enjoy your husband.make sure you are exercising hand eat lots of vit d.they have those ovulation monitors that are great as well but pls don't stress! Since you have ample of faith in Allah, the following verses of the Quran might show you the light. However, he fasted and Allah blessed him with many children. Shaitan is most pleased when spouse fight. As the saying goes experience and wisdom come from bad experiences. Certainly, it will be great if he has a child from another woman and he treats you both justly and you live in harmony, but you will have to face a lot of jealousy from the other woman. your questiob appeared in the wee hours of morning and look how full it is. They werent even trying anymore, and they got pregnant and were blessed with a child. However, Allah opened her womb and she was blessed with Prophet Yusuf (Joseph) (alaihim al-Salm) and Prophet Ben-ya-meen (Benjamin) (alaihim al-Salm), Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) (alaihim al-Salm) was 100 years old while his wife Sarah was no less than 90 year old when they were blessed with Prophet Isaac (alaihim al-Salm). IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. On one hand we say that women are emotional and on the other hand we expect women to NOT be emotional. Want to marry a revert but family wont accept.. as being a co wife. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. "(Al-Anbiya, 21:89). I fear him a lot, but I just can't bare seeing someone else child in my arms. 2. if you get married when i am 40 i will feel more upset, because you left me at a time when i would need my life partner the most. Try to focus on their good. let ur attitude speak '' tch tch too bad u will miss me.''. @ sister Anna, I have protected myself, from committing sin, and I have given him permission, and I have done what ever so far is needed from my side to please him. May Allah make it easy for u in the mean time ur sisters in faith shall continue to pray. Family dysfunction has resulted in a scarcity of suitable marriage proposals. Why settle for 1 when you can have 4! I fear that he will be inclined over her more, I don't want him to do anything that ALLAH will punish him for, as ALLAH does punish the one who is inclined to one wife more then the other, because he is not treating them equally. Yes sis my husband is a kind man. Dear sister I wll reply to all of your messages in one. i just pray i exhibit enough strength to fight them gracefully. i would say y dont u just find a way to condition ur thought process. . Then he married another woman for having children from her, but even she could not conceive. She passed away in peace. Otherwise I just can get him married, or screw my life, and give him khula! I don't know what to do, should i call her or should i not call her. This depends on the severity of what the husband actually did. shaitaan's trick is to make us not believe in Allah's Mercy or to not feel content, or to worry about things that we do not have the power over. That is only going to frustrate him. He is a Haji mashallah, but still thinks like that. But in most cases we some women recovery soon and some women don't. Loves me and the kids. And also made my mind set, to go for HAJJ.. meanwhile my husband had asked some people to find a second wife for him, I was not told about his action at that time. There are some ladies willing to marry, and the ground under my feet is moving like an earthquake. Imam Ali (a.s.) said, He, who rides in the boat of patience, arrives at the field of victory.. Well, in a senseyes. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? Make it better, so that if and when a baby comes, there is a solid family for it. Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, Allah will not look at a woman who is ungrateful to her husband while she cannot take care of herself without him., Source: al-Sunan al-Kubra lil-Nasai 9086, Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani, , 9086 , 289 , Khutbah al-Hajah: How to begin a Khutbah Sermon in Arabic and English, Hadith on Kahf: Reading Surat al-Kahf on Friday brings light, Hadith on Bid'ah: Every innovation is misguidance in Hellfire, Hadith on Worship: If he comes to Me walking, I come running, Hadith on Abstinence: Allah replaces it with something better, Hadith on Trials: If Allah loves someone, He tests him, Hadith on Quran: Reciting Ayat al-Kursi after each prayer, Hadith on Shukr: Take advantage of five blessings before deprived, Hadith on Munkar: Whoever sees evil should change it if possible, Hadith of Gabriel: Angel Jibril came to teach you Islam, Hadith on Hajj: No blame for mistakes, unless defaming a Muslim, Hadith on Dua: Do not pray against yourself or your family, Hadith on Funerals: Do not insult Muslim family, even if unbelievers, Hadith on Moderation: Best of your religion is the easiest, Hadith on Balance: You must take the way of moderation, Hadith on Recitation: Warning not to exaggerate with the Quran, Hadith on Gentleness: Hellfire forbidden for kind people, Hadith on Rifq: Allah blesses beloved households with kindness, Hadith on Shirk: The Prophet warns his kindred of idolatry, Hadith on Nifaq: Hypocrites are lost wandering in unbelief, Hadith on Hellfire: The Prophet tries his best to save believers, Hadith on Faith: Believers endure trials, unlike hypocrites, Hadith on Qiyamah: The Prophet is a sign the Hour is at hand, Hadith on Tawakkul: Tie your camel and rely upon Allah, Hadith on Kufr: Unbelievers stay rigid until they break, Hadith on Parables: Believers bend sometimes, upright sometimes, Hadith on Tayyib: Believers eat pure good, produce pure good, Hadith on Faith: Believers like a date palm benefitting everyone, Hadith on Relief: Salvation for relieving difficulties of others, Hadith on Seeing: Turn your eyes away from unlawful images.